I have been going out with this guy for 3 years, we are seniors in high school and lately we have been having a pretty stale relationship mostly due to the fact that he doesn't have a car. I don't have a car, he is in a band and just got a job. So communication was left to a phone about once a week.
On Wednesday there was a fire drill, while walking back to our class I joked about having a crush on a guy. I asked him if he had a crush on anyone, he admitted to liking my best friend. I asked him if he wanted to pursue her, expecting a prompt, no, but for 2 hours he thought about it. Just before the 2 hours were up I asked him to make a choice, her or me and he said that I deserved someone who could make that choice(break up 1)
I went home heartbroken and the next day(Thursday) I stayed home from school, he calls me up saying that he can't live without me, etc. and wants me back. So we talked and decided that our relationship was stale and that it didn't help with the confusion. With me being so angry I told my friend that he broke up with me hoping she would say "I wont go out with him" but she ended up doing the whole 'let me think about it first' and since then our friendship has ended. I told him on Thursday to talk to her because I figured she was pretty confused also, so he put it off till the next day (Friday). I waited for him to call at 8 p.m with the results but nothing. By the time I had finally got a call back it was 1 a.m. He said he had an amazing talk with her and was leaving me (2nd break up). I went the weekend deeply distraught by the roller coaster I was put on. Monday came and it seemed to be permanent. By the time the last class of the day came, I realized I had no friends other then my ex so I decided to walk with him. I had spent the day goofing off with friends, which I never did cause I was always hanging with him, and I felt pretty over it. We talked the whole period (walk fit) and he talked about how my friend thought the same as he did and some things I did where illogical. I tried to explain what was 'illogical' to him (ie. faith, and in a sense what love was) by the end of the period we had to report in to the teacher. He say a friend from another class and they talked while I stood in line. He came up to me about 3 min later with a huge smile on his face and said he finally understood me. I said thats great and went on waiting by myself in line.I started to walk to an after school club once school got out and asked if Alex would escort me because at that moment I was feeling pretty alone. He agreed and we walked a rather short distance, as I reached the door he stopped me and said he realized he loved me and he made a huge mistake. I called him up before I got ready for school the next day (Tuesday morning at 4 a.m)and he started crying, like I have NEVER heard him cry before saying he wants me back. I said I couldn't because I didn't want to be hurt anymore. We talked at school and I told him to prove himself to me. My family at this point were disgusted with me for taking him back, they called me a doormat and said I have no self esteem, though I haven't actually taken him back. We worked things out and I told him that I need at least 1 week to find myself before we could start going out again, though my horniness has me kissing and cuddling him and such. He has been nothing but sweet and understanding about me wanting to wait. I told him about me writing this and he said that if I wasn't ready Monday (today is Sunday, and Monday is the 1 week day) then he was ok with waiting. I went through the breakup and came out the other side stronger and happier. I saw the faults in my ex and in the relationship, but after everything I still loved him and still would want to be with him. I wasn't desperate to be with him, I just wanted it. Everyone in my family hates the idea and they want me to be by myself for a much longer time(months), but if I'm ready and I feel ok isn't me punishing him by waiting really punishing me also?
I really love my family and I want so much to make them happy, but I don't want to be unhappy myself. Ever since my mom has heard that I was being nice to him and that he wants to go back out with me she has excluded me. She doesn't ask if I want to go with her, but asks my sister right in front of me. And when I talk to her she stops me often and says "I am sick of you and your drama, I just don't want to deal with it"
I am just pulled on what I should do, what I should say to my family, what I should say to my ex.
Thanks for reading all this