Dear Anyone,
I'm in love with two men. The first one, is the kind of guy I fear because he's muscular and everything. The second is the kind of guy I've always dated, small and scrony.
First I've known for the past four years and have helped him survive threw the hardest times in his life. The girl he was to marry passed away of cancer while she was seven months pregnant with his child.
Second, I've known him a little over a year now. And we've had a few suicidal rough patches together as well. All over one girl to... . But anyway, He's one of my best friends. I've told him everything about myself and he accepts me.
First I told him the secret that I've only told a couple of others, because I didn't want any secrets between us and he flipped...He hasn't talked to me for a day and I don't think he knows what to say, but it hurts a lot that he'd just ignore me completely. And I'm scared that I've lost him completely.
Second knows my darkest secret and treats me the same way he always has treated me. And thats what I want to be treated the same, to not be shunned because of whats happened to me. But to be excepted and know that, that happened in the past.
First still has not talked to me. He claimed he loved me before I told him. Several weeks before I told him, and then I tell him and he wont talk to me. Now he is talking to me telling me I'm the only one, and he's sorry for ignoring me and he was so stupid for doing so. He just didn't know how to react.
Second loved me no matter what. He's not the romantic type, but he's sweet and knows how to treat a girl...
First knows how to treat a girl and is full of passion, and is a romantic...The way he's reacting to this is killing me.
Second reacted as in, "Thats in your past, don't worry he wont come back. I wont see you any different. I know you couldn't stop it, the only thing is I don't want you to be scared of me."
Please help.
Heart divided
