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Canadian author Lynn Coady has an opinion. This is her edgy but hilarious online advice column exclusive to DearAnyone.com.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Coady of Conduct:

I have just broken up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. Although we are both only 18, we were and still are very much in love. We broke up because he can't get his all-time dream of traveling the world out of his head. I told him I would go with him, but he will not let me drop out of uni, as I have a scholarship. We had a big talk a few days after the break up and we kissed, cuddled and had sex. I want more than anything to stay with him, one way or another. I think that with time and careful wording, I could convince him to stay but I feel so selfish because I know how bad he wants to travel. We recently had unprotected sex and I asked him what would happen if I was pregnant. He said, "I love you. If you were pregnant, that would be god telling me to stay." Now I desperately hope I'm pregnant. But, a few days after this, he came to me crying telling me he was rethinking the breakup. I feel in my heart that he will choose me, but don't know how to handle it if he doesn't. He doesn't like the idea of a long term relationship because he feels selfish expecting me to wait that long (up to a year and a half). What should I do?

Young Love

Oh my god. I am so sorry about your boyfriend's terminal illness. How sad that he only has four years to live! Boo hoo h--what's that? You say he isn't terminally ill? He's only 18 and actually has a multitude of lively, productive years ahead of him? Well, gee, I guess my question for you now--and perhaps your next question for your boyfriend--can only be, Why the fuck can't he wait for you to finish university to embark on his ''all-time dream''?

Here, the fuck, is the reason. He doesn't want you to go with him. Sorry if this smarts, but if he did, he'd be willing to put it off a few years and the two of you wouldn't be playing out this ridiculous stay/go soap-opera. Stop being an idiot about contraception and tell your boyfriend to send you a postcard.

To put it in terms you'll understand, here's the embroidered-pillow version: If you love something, set it free.