Dear Anyone,
I am so confused and I am trying to be understanding, but I haven't slept in the past three days and I can't stop hurting! What happened was, well... a long story short, he is an open and emotionally deep man and really worked on getting me to open up to him and trust him. Finally, I did and of course I began to love him, and in turn we began to fall in love. Everything was getting better and better! on the 21st of August I was on top of the world, he told me where his spare key to his apartment was and basically invited me to be there whenever I wanted, and other things... I can't get into right now because this is just a quick post, but we were just getting so close and it was so wonderful... and two days later, he lets me know he "needs space". which I would understand, only everything that happened was initiated by him. The speed we went, how close we got, how much time we spent together... I never initiated it because I wanted to make sure it was his doing and not mine, so that this wouldn't happen. But some how it did... I think he's going through a mid life crisis or something, I don't know. He just says he loves me and he's cried about this, but he needs to figure out where he is in life. I am trying so hard to be understanding; we email back and forth and I make sure that I email him light heartedly, but I cry every night and I could never let him know because I want him to be given the freedom he needs right now to figure out his life. He just seems so self absorbed right now, when I tell him things he used to comfort me about, he simply ignores it. He responds to the emails with something that has nothing to do with it, like how he did on his hockey game or whatever... so unlike him. Anyway, I don't want to crowd him, I want to give him his space and be understanding... but the fact is that it's my life too and I can't stand waiting around not knowing if he'll decide to come back to me or leave me... it could be days or weeks or months, and I have a life to live. I can't spend days or weeks or months crying every night because I have lost a man I would come to love so dearly. I just don't know what to do but it hurts so much and I just can't take this anymore!
in love and confused!